Seinfeld characters and culture
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Pseudonyms of main characters
In various plotlines, several of the Seinfeld main characters carried pseudonyms in order to get them out of various sticky situations:- George Costanza: Art Vandelay; an alias often used by George -- in one instance, George tells the unemployment office he is close to getting a job at "Vandelay Industries." The characters encounter a judge named Art Vandelay on the series finale. At one point, George wanted to be known as "T-Bone", but his co-workers at Kruger Industrial Smoothing nicknamed him "Koko", and later, "Gammy". George revealed that if he were to be a porn star, his name would be "Buck Naked." Jerry frequently calls George "Biff", referring to the Biff Loman character in Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman. George unwittingly pretends to be a white supremacist named Donald O'Brien in order to take someone else's limousine.
- Cosmo Kramer: H. E. Pennypacker; in "The Puerto Rican Day", Kramer poses as Pennypacker, an interested buyer in an apartment in order to use the bathroom. Kramer appeared as Pennypacker to get revenge on a store, Putumayo, by repricing all the merchandise in their store with his pricing gun. Another pseudonym was Dr. Peter von Nostrand; he tried to get Elaine's medical chart to erase the negative comments her doctor had made, he also used Dr. van Nostrand in the episode "The Slicer" when he was posing as a dermatologist for a cancer screening at Kruger. Kramer used the name Martin van Nostrand when he auditioned for the role of himself on the show Jerry. Kramer has also been referred to as "Assman" in reference to the licence plate the state of New York accidentally gave to him. Other nicknames such as "K-man" were short-lived.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Kal (or Kel) Varnsen; the arch-rival of Pennypacker and a wealthy developer/industrialist. Notably, both of them plus Vandelay appear in the episode "The Puerto Rican Day" (where Jerry's Saab 900 convertible is abused). Kal Varnsen also answered the phone of Vandelay Industries to aid in George's unemployment fraud. "Kal" is the nickname of Jerry's real-life father, Kalman Seinfeld; "Kal-El" is also Superman's Kryptonianian name. While George posed as O'Brien, Jerry played an associate named Dylan Murphy.
- Elaine Benes: Susie; after a co-worker mistakenly calls her Susie. Susie was then pawned off by Elaine as a different person so that complaints against Elaine appeared to be against this employee Susie. Susie was "killed off" when the situation with her co-worker became too complicated.
Secondary characters
- Frank Costanza (played by Jerry Stiller, The King of Queens) and Estelle Costanza (played by Estelle Harris): doting parents of George, who live in Queens.
- Morty Seinfeld (played by Barney Martin): Jerry's dad. He sold raincoats for 35 years. He hates Velcro--he can't stand the tearing sound. He was also impeached as condo president when the other board members accuse him of stealing funds to pay for a new Cadillac--even though Jerry actually bought the car for him. The other residents don't think Jerry has that kind of money, either.
- Helen Seinfeld (played by Liz Sheridan): Jerry's mom. She adores Jerry and often asks rhetorically, "How could anyone not like him?"
- Newman (played by Wayne Knight, 3rd Rock from the Sun): portly, annoying U.S. postal carrier neighbor of Jerry and Kramer's. While Newman was portrayed as Jerry's arch-nemesis he remained close friends with Kramer. Jerry always greets him with a "Hello... Newman" and considers him to be the personification of pure evil.
- David Puddy (played by Patrick Warburton, The Tick): on-again, off-again, sometimes "religious", boyfriend of Elaine Benes. He wore an 8-ball jacket and enjoyed giving high fives while working as a salesman in a Saab dealership. Also a hardcore New Jersey Devils fan. Known for his squinting, staring, and generally laid back, passive, attitude (except with bursts of adrenaline like during the hockey playoffs).
- Mr. Steinbrenner (voice by Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm): George Costanza's boss while working for the Yankees; his face is never shown.
- J. Peterman (played by John O'Hurley, To Tell the Truth): based on a real person; the eccentric and loquacious boss of Elaine Benes. He has a long, interesting history that includes opium addiction. When Peterman decides to write an autobiography, Kramer tries to sell his stories to him. Later on, Kramer claims himself to be "the real Peterman," and starts a reality bus tour.
- Kenny Banya (played by Steve Hytner): an unfunny stand-up comedian who has routines on chocolate drink mixes such as Bosco and Ovaltine. Jerry contributed some material to Banya's ovaltine routine. He likes to eat at Mendy's.
- Tim Watley (played by Bryan Cranston, Malcolm in the Middle): a dentist who converted to Judaism for the jokes. He is also known as a re-gifter. He believes Jerry is a trouble maker (comparable to Woody Woodpecker).
- Uncle Leo (played by Len Lesser): Jerry's unavoidable and annoying Uncle who always greets Jerry with a hearty "Jerry, Hello!" His son Jeffrey, of whom Leo is very proud, works for the Parks Department.
- Cousin Jeffrey: Jerry's never-seen cousin, whom Uncle Leo was always raving about, in Seinfeld. He worked for the NY Parks Department. He once got Jerry tickets to a Paul Simon concert, and a glasses-less George once claimed to see Jeffrey kissing Jerry's girlfriend. It turned out to be a horse. According to Uncle Leo, Jeffrey's favorite animal is the leopard because he likes the spots, and he keeps in close contact with his college zoology professor, which Leo says is rare. Jeffrey received a citation from the city for his edible plant tour through central park.
- Bob Sacamano: a friend of Kramer (never shown) who is often referred to as the source of nutty ideas or inaccurate information.
- Soup Nazi (played by Larry Thomas): based on a real person, a chef who often denied customers his delicious soup for the slightest misbehavior.
- Jackie Chiles (played by Phil Morris, Wanda at Large): Kramer's erstwhile lawyer, an obvious parody of O.J. Simpson trial lawyer Johnnie Cochran. He's known for using a trio of exclamations in a single sentence. Jackie Chiles even had a life past the continuation of the TV series: Phil Morris appeared as the character in a few television advertisements.
- Noreen: a friend of Elaine who dated the high talker. Elaine continuously destroyed Noreen's life until Kramer intervened and urged her to return to the military.
- Lloyd Braun: a long-time associate of George and Jerry, Estelle Costanza constantly badgered George for not being more like Lloyd. Lloyd used to work for David Dinkins until he passed along Elaine's suggestion that everyone in New York City wear name tags. Dinkins lost the race and Braun had a nervous breakdown. He enjoys "lo mein-y" Chinese chewing gum.
- Justin Pitt: hired Elaine to tend to his personal needs, such as buying socks. Elaine lost her job with him when his intimates suspected her of planning his demise in order to secure an unusual employer-to-employee inheritance.
- Jack Clompus: a slimy, weasely resident of Phase Two at the Pines, where Jerry's parents have retired. Jerry gets into a fiasco with him over a "space pen". Jack also accuses Morty of stealing the condo funds to pay for the Cadillac that Jerry had bought him.
- Babu Bhat: from Pakistan, Jerry seems to mess up his life at every turn, by giving bad business advice on his restaurant and by not passing on his immigration notice. Babu thinks that Jerry is a "very, very bad man."
- Crazy Joe Davola: attacked Kramer, blames Jerry for misfortunes, dated Elaine, depressed that Elaine rejected him, dressed up like the clown from the opera I Pagliacci.
- Bob Cobb (played by Mark Metcalf, Animal House's Neidermeyer): a conductor who prefers to be called "Maestro" and has a villa in Tuscany.
- Mickey Abbott: a little person who took various acting gigs with Kramer.
- Poppie (played by Reni Santoni): owner of an Italian restaurant who disapproves of abortion, known to not wash his hands after visiting the bathroom, believes a pizza is a pizza when you put your fists in the dough, rejects cucumbers as a pizza topping, and urinated on Jerry's brand new couch. The "Poppie couch" turns up in later episodes.
- Lomez: another mysterious friend of Kramer. He is an orthodox Jew, according to him. In one episode, Kramer stands outside a port-a-pottie waiting for Lomez, who is inside. When Kramer starts the Peterman reality tour, he notes Lomez's place of worship on the tour.
- Susan Ross (played by Heidi Swedberg): ex-fiancée of George, dies from toxic wedding invitation envelope adhesive. She was a former executive at NBC when Jerry and George were pitching Jerry. After her death, George is roped into being a trustee for her memorial charity foundation. Susan hates Kramer for various reasons: In one episode, he drinks some bad milk and throws up on her; in another, Kramer burns down her father's cabin; and in the last episode in which Susan was alive, Kramer forgets her name (he calls her "Lily").
- Marla the Virgin (played by Jane Leeves): professional closet organizer who Jerry dates, trying to bed her, only to lose her to JFK Jr
- Izzy Mandelbaum (played by Lloyd Bridges): fellow resident of Jerry's parents in Del Boca Vista in Florida; head of family-owned Magic Pan restaurants and has a running rivalry with Jerry.
- The Drake: a mutual friend of main characters, often referred to with "Gotta love The Drake" or "I hate The Drake." Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer give him and his bride a big screen TV for a wedding gift, only to find out soon after that they have separated and his wife "The Drakette" gave it away to charity.
- Joe Mayo: another mutual friend of the main characters. Throws parties and assigns chores to the guests. Kramer believes the name is made up
- Alec Berg: friend who gives ice hockey tickets to Jerry. Jerry pokes fun at the name considering it comparable to a James Bond villain.
- Sue Ellen Mishke: the bralessless wonder, heiress to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune.
- Ping: Chinese food delivery boy, who gets struck by Elaine and sues her.
- Mr. Wilhelm (played by Richard Herd): George's superior at the New York Yankees; also George's brainwashed maid (Tanya) with the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners.
- Jake Jarmel: author Elaine dated for a period. Dislikes using exclamation marks. Broke up with Elaine after she bought Jujy fruits immediately after hearing he was in a car accident. Bought his glasses in Malaysia so no one else would have a pair like them.
- Mister Lippman - Elaine Benes' boss at Pendant Publishing. Briefly hired and fired George over inappropriate relations in his office with the cleaning woman.
- Mr. Kruger - George's boss at Kruger Industrial Smoothing. He was a remarkable character in that he was George's most careless and incompetent boss.
Notable one-time characters
- Aldon Benes: Elaine's hard-nose father (played by Lawrence Tierney, Reservoir Dogs' Joe Cabot), in "The Jacket" (episode # 2.3, February 6, 1991).
- FDR, or Franklin Delano Romanowsky (played by Michael McShane), another of Kramer's eccentric friends who uses his birthday wish against Kramer after the latter struck him on the head with a snowball in "The Betrayal".
- Brody: Kramer's movie pirater friend, packs a gun, eats too much candy.
- Slippery Pete and Schlomo (played by Peter Stormare and Reuven Bar-Yotam): two shady Slavic fellows that George hires to move his Frogger machine without power being interrupted.
- Meryl (played by Courteney Cox, Friends): Jerry's pretend wife. She is doing this to help Jerry get a discount at the dry cleaners.
- Vegetable Lasagna: European guy, who sits in the plane seat next to Elaine and Puddy and has to put up with incessant fighting. Named after his food preference on the plane, even though he insists his name is Magnus.
- Miss Rhode Island (Karen): Jerry dates her, accidentally kills her doves, forcing her to sing for the talent contest, which goes horribly.
- Bubble Boy: Jerry agrees to visit a boy in a plastic bubble, but finds he is a bratty spoiled kid; George gets in fight over a typo on a Trivial Pursuit card, when it says the Moops invaded Spain.
- Little Jerry Seinfeld aka 'Little Yerry Seinfeld' at Marceleno's Bodega: Kramer's rooster.
- The Postmaster General (played by Wilfred Brimley): makes it clear to Kramer that he cannot not receive postal mail.
- Lt. Bookman (played by Philip Baker Hall): a library cop who comes after Jerry due to his decades-overdue copy of Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer.
- Grossbard: Kramer runs into this old debtor at an airport and tries to collect the money owed.
- John Germaine (played by Jeff Yagher): a jazz musician Elaine dates who eventually loses his musical prowess after having doing "everything" with Elaine in "The Rye".
- Smuckers: a dog that Kramer uses to get medication from a veterinarian for his own cough.
- Farfel: dog that Jerry is stuck taking care of when the owner sitting next to him on the plane has to be rushed to hospital; barks incessantly.
- Milos: incompetent tennis pro who sells Jerry a $200 tennis racket, offers his wife to Jerry, and asks him to take a dive in a tennis game.
- Donna Chang: Caucasian woman who people think is Chinese, originally named Changstein.
- Jean-Paul Jean-Paul: a runner from Trinidad and Tobago.
- Ramon: annoying poolboy at Jerry's former health club.
- Frank Costanza's lawyer (played by Larry David): he doesn't follow trends and wears a cape. He stops Noreen from committing suicide.
- The Doorman (played by Larry Miller): arrogant doorman of Mr. Pitt's apartment building tricks Jerry into watching the door for him. He berated Jerry for looking down at him because he was a doorman, even though Jerry wasn't.
- Stan, the Caddy - Kramer's Senior Tour golf trainer (played by Armin Shimerman-Quark of fame). Missed the cut in the trial of Sue Ellen Mishke.
- Ned Isakoff - Elaine's very well-read, communist boyfriend, whom she got "blacklisted" from a Chinese restaurant.
- Saddam Hussein lookalike: Kramer and George run into him on the street, thinking it's the Iraqi dictator who's boxed them in by double-parking. Saddam's double has a British accent, and as he gets into his car, he advises George (who had given away his coat in a liquor store) to wear a jacket in cold weather.
- Cheryl Fong: lawyer George starts dating, becomes attracted to Jerry's fake "dark side", winds up suing Elaine on behalf of her cousin Ping: "She never lose a case. They call her the Terminator. Hasta la vista, baby!"
- Kevin, Gene, Feldman, and Vargas: The Bizarro Jerry, George, Kramer, and Newman.
- Sidra (played by Teri Hatcher): Woman who Jerry dates. He becomes obsessed with whether or not her breasts are real. Though Jerry never gets to find out for himself, "they are real, and they're spectacular."
- Dolores: Jerry's girlfriend; he doesn't know her name, only that it rhymes with a female body part (his best guess: "Mulva").
- Tom Pepper, Sandi Robbins, and Michael Barth: the cast members of Jerry, playing Kramer, Elaine and George.
- The Pig-Man: While in the hospital, Kramer is snooping around and comes across what he thinks is a pig man.
- Members of the Houston Astros front office: George has a meeting with the Astros about the possibility of interleague play. They always call everyone a "bastard" or "son of a bitch" (George finds out "that's how they talk in the major leagues"). Those terms get George and Jean-Paul in trouble: Jean-Paul gets kicked out of Elaine's apartment, where he had plans to stay before the New York Marathon, and Wilhelm catches George yelling into the phone while the Astros front office men are calling from their plane.
- Members of the New York Mets front office: In a meeting, the Mets make an offer to George for a vacant front office position at Shea Stadium. But in order for the Mets to hire George, they tell him the catch: He has to get fired from the Yankees first. In the end, however, despite George's valiant attempts to make Steinbrenner fire him (The Boss eventually is ready to fire George, but just as he is about to do it Wilhelm walks in and tells Steinbrenner that he made George do those things. Wilhelm is trying to get fired to get the Mets job as well), Mr. Wilhelm gets hired by the Mets instead.
- The Assman: A proctologist who has his license plates issued to Kramer by mistake. It is discovered, when Jerry and Kramer visit the doctor's office, that the real Assman has a practice there. Kramer finds a picture of his boat, with "Assman" written on the side.
- Denim Vest (played by Kevin McDonald) - a character named after his questionable taste in fashion. Elaine's network of fake phone numbers comes undone due to Denim Vest.
- Shakey the mohel - circumcises Jerry's finger during a bris. The mohel blames Jerry for the accident, claiming he flinched. Jerry later derisively refers to the mohel as "Shakey the mohel."
- Manya - a relative of Jerry's. She dies in "The Pony Remark."
- Uncle Mack - Jerry's uncle who was writing an autobiography based on all his experiences.
- The mechanic - George accuses a mechanic at David Puddy's Saab dealership of stealing his Twix. He says he probably has a short, one syllable name.
- Tor Eckman - a holist who turns George into an eggplant instead of healing his tonsilitis.
- Jimmy: constantly refers to himself in the third person: "Jimmy is down!" Has a grudge against Kramer for spilling a drink, causing Jimmy to slip and fall and hurt himself ("The Jimmy.")
Celebrities who played themselves
- Keith Hernandez: Jerry and George met the Mets player in the locker room of their health club. He is a big fan of Jerry's comedy and he becomes awkwardly entangled with Elaine and Jerry. Kramer and Newman hate him, though, and they accuse him of spitting on them after a game (Newman recalls that it was June 14, 1987, Mets/Phillies, in which the Mets blew a ninth-inning lead and caused the Phillies to rally for the win). They later find out that it was his teammate, relief pitcher Roger McDowell, who had spit on them instead. Kramer and Newman apologize to Hernandez, and they help him with his moving. ("The Boyfriend", two-part episode)
- Jon Voight: he bit Kramer's arm; George thinks he bought a Chrysler convertible owned by him, but it was really John Voight's car, a local dentist. ("The Mom and Pop Store")
- Marisa Tomei: had a major crush on George while he was engaged to Susan Ross, because she's attracted to "short, quirky and balding" men. ("The Cadillac", two-part episode)
- Corbin Bernsen: George made a trip with Jerry to appear on The Tonight Show and he ran into Bernsen there. George tells him his idea for the perfect L.A. Law episode.
- George Wendt: George also runs into him at The Tonight Show. He suggests they change the setting of Cheers because "it's enough with the bar already." Bernsen and Wendt make George the butt of their jokes on The Tonight Show, much to George's dismay.
- Mel Torme: the Velvet Fog himself sings at a charity fundraiser, when Kramer is mistaken for a mentally challenged person. ("The Jimmy")
- Fred Savage: Kramer runs into the former Wonder Years star at a cafe in Los Angeles, and tries to pitch his script.
- Raquel Welch: Gets fired by Kramer from the Scarsdale Surprise play, then cat-fights with Elaine. ("The Summer of George")
- Paul O'Neill: Kramer tells him he has promised a sick boy that O'Neill will hit two home runs in that day's game. O'Neill gets one home run and a triple with an error, but Kramer insists, "Come on, Bobby, that's just as good!" ("The Wink")
- Bernie Williams and Derek Jeter: during his tenure as assistant to the Yankees' traveling secretary, George is temporarily brilliant from lack of sex and teaches them how to hit. ("The Abstinence")
- Danny Tartabull: George sidetracks his promised appearance on a public television fund raiser to chase down a driver that he (wrongly) thinks gave them the finger. ("The Pledge Drive")
- Bette Midler: while playing catcher for the softball team from her Broadway show, Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical, Midler is run down by George on a decisive play at the plate. While she recuperates, Kramer becomes her personal handler and gushes, "You are so freaking talented!" ("The Understudy")
- Regis Philbin and Kathie Lee Gifford: Kramer appears on their television show to promote his coffee table book about coffee tables. ("The Opposite")
- Bryant Gumbel - Jerry wears the puffy shirt onto the Today show, and host Gumbel says, "I'm sorry, it is just a very unusual shirt. It could be kind of a whole new look for you.. you know, you could be kind of like the pirate comedian." ("The Puffy Shirt")
- Jim Fowler: the animal expert and frequent talk show guest brings a hawk to the Merv Griffin Show set in Kramer's apartment. ("The Merv Griffin Show")
- Al Roker: the television weatherman swipes Jerry's gyro on the subway while Elaine is holding a TV Guide with his picture on the cover. ("The Cigar-Store Indian")
- Rudolph Giuliani: he campaigns for Mayor of New York City with a platform that includes cracking down on frozen yogurt shops that falsely claim their yogurt is non-fat. ("The Non-Fat Yogurt")
- Pat Cooper: the comedian and entertainer who sponsored Jerry's membership at the Friar's Club and who readily exposed George as not "being in show business". ("The Friar's Club")
- Candice Bergen: playing herself playing Murphy Brown being given a very good feeling about new secretary Steven Snell (played by Kramer). ("The Keys")
- David Letterman: talking on the phone to Jerry, telling him he has been bumped from the show, due to a bad review of his show at his Junior High School Assembly. ("The Abstinence")
- Jay Leno: Jerry and George appear on the Tonight Show, while they are looking for Kramer, who has split for Los Angeles. Jerry is a guest on the show, and George sits in the audience. ("The Trip," two-part episode)
Celebrities or significant TV actors not playing themselves
- Courteney Cox (Friends), as Meryl ("The Wife")
- Bruce Davison, as Wyck Fayer ("The Foundation", "The Soul Mate", "The Van Buren Boys")
- Janeane Garofalo, as Jeannie Steinman ("The Invitations", "The Foundation"), the woman Jerry is briefly engaged to.
- Brad Garrett (Everybody Loves Raymond), as Tony the mechanic ("The Bottle Deposit")
- Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives), as Sidra ("The Implant", "The Pilot", "The Finale")
- Jane Leeves (Frasier), as Marla ("The Virgin", "The Contest", "The Pilot", "The Finale")
- Debra Messing (Will & Grace;), as Beth ("The Wait Out", "The Yada Yada")
- Amanda Peet (Igby Goes Down) as Linette ("The Summer of George")
- Ben Stein (Win Ben Stein's Money), as lawyer Shellbach ("The Comeback")
- Lauren Graham, as Valerie ("The Millennium")
- Christine Taylor, as Ellen ("The Van Buren Boys")
- Judge Reinhold, as Aaron, the close talker ("The Raincoats")
- Marlee Matlin, as Laura ("The Lip Reader")
- James Spader, as Jason "Stanky" Hanky ("The Apology")
Actual people played by others
- José Carreras, as The other guy (being presumed less popular than Luciano Pavarotti and Plácido Domingo) and Mr. Camaro ("The Doll")
- Fidel Castro, as El Presidente and El Commandante ("The Race")
- Monica Seles, as Herself ('The Lipreader")
- John F. Kennedy, Jr, as Himself ("The Contest")
Actual people who are referenced without making an appearance
- Bud Abbott - of the comedy team Abbot & Costello. "What are you, Bud Abbott? What are you calling me an idiot for?" (George, "The Jacket")
- Woody Allen - as Woody Allen, who directs a movie near Jerry's and Kramer's apartment ("The Alternate Side")
- Idi Amin - Kramer mentions him in "The Dinner Party."
- Maya Angelou - "Maya Angelou, the poet?" (Susan, "The Sponge")
- Bozo the Clown - George is amazed to find than no one know who Bozo is ("The Fire")
- Napoleon Bonaparte - "Napoleon? Who's he to have a cake? He was a ruthless warmonger." (Elaine, "The Dinner Party")
- Leonid Brezhnev - suggested as the ugliest all-time world leader (Jerry, "The Outing")
- Caligula - "I'll tell you what you did, Caligula!" (Jerry, referring to George, "The Blood")
- Johnny Carson - Uncle Leo tells Jerry that he thinks Johnny was rude to Jerry and didn't let him talk on the Tonight Show ("The Pen"). Jerry also worries if he insulted Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show in "The Heart Attack".
- Nicolae Ceausescu - mentioned by Jerry for filler in conversation with a Romanian gymnast ("The Gymnast")
- John Cheever - is revealed to have been a lover of Susan Ross' father, following the discovery of his correspondence in the wake of the cabin fire. ("The Cheever Letters")
- Richard Dawson - when numerous women kiss Jerry when they greet him, Jerry compares himself to the Family Feud host who kissed every woman on the show (Jerry, "The Kiss Hello")
- Charles de Gaulle - suggested as the ugliest all-time world leader (Elaine, "The Outing")
- Hernando de Soto - as de Soto. ("The Boyfriend, Part 2")
- Joe DiMaggio - as Joe DiMaggio, and The Yankee Clipper. ("The Note")
- David Dinkins - Mayor of New York who loses his reelection due to Kramer's mishaps in a laboratory ("The Non-Fat Yogurt")
- David Duke - white supremacist. "I think I got David Duke and Farrakhan down there." (Jerry, "The Dinner Party")
- Albert Einstein - as Einstein. ("The Big Salad")
- Louis Farrakhan - head of the Nation of Islam "I think I got David Duke and Farrakhan down there." (Jerry, "The Dinner Party")
- Larry Fine - Larry of the Three Stooges. "No one goes into a beauty parlor and says, 'Give me the Larry Fine.'" (George, "The Beard")
- Johann Gutenberg - "I understand Gutenberg used to spend a lot of time in there (the bathroom)" (Jerry, "The Bookstore")
- Moe Howard - Moe of the Three Stooges. "He'd (Aldon Benes) clunk our heads together like Moe." (Jerry, "The Jacket")
- Ayatollah Khomeini, - "This guy (George) holds a grudge like Khomeini." (Jerry, "The Baby Shower")
- Elton John - Jerry refers to George as "Elton," in reference to George's feminine glasses. ("The Glasses")
- Lyndon Johnson - Kramer insists that a baby looks like Johnson ("The Boyfriend"). Also suggested as the ugliest all-time world leader (George, "The Outing")
- Rich Little - the impressionist. "Who am I, Rich Little?" (Helen Seinfeld, "The Stakeout")
- Yo Yo Ma - the cellist, in Kramer's common exclamation, "Yo Yo Ma!"
- Ferdinand Magellan - Jerry's favorite explorer ("The Boyfriend, Part 2")
- Golda Meir - Israeli leader, agreed upon by George, Elaine, and Jerry as the world's ugliest all-time leader ("The Outing")
- Josef Mengele - "Napoleon? Who's he to have a cake? He was a ruthless warmonger. Might as well get a Mengele." (Elaine, "The Dinner Party")
- Demi Moore - George and Jerry ponder over the correct pronunciation of her first name. "I've never heard of a 'semee' truck." (George, "The Secretary")
- Benito Mussolini - "I let fly like Mussolini from the balcony!" (George, "The Tape")
- Robert Schumann - Jerry mentions that Schumann could not get a note out of his head and had to be institutionalized ("The Jacket")
- Neil Simon - as Neil Simon, while characterizing Simon's Chapter Two as a good comedy. ("The Letter")
- Joseph Stalin - "I would have been friends with Stalin if he had a ping pong table" (Jerry, "Male Unbonding")
Fictional characters who are referenced without making an appearance
- The Lopper, a.k.a. Headzo, the Denogginizer, Son of Dad ("It's a sort of a catchall"), a fictional serial killer who Kramer mentions that has been decapitating victims in Riverside park, all of whom bear some resemblance to Jerry Seinfeld. ("The Frogger")
- The Man in the Park, as fictional by Lt. Martel, and as factual by Kramer. ("The Trip, Part 2")
- Ray McKigney, referenced as factual, who George's hands are only second to when George becomes a hand model. Ray was a hand model whose hands were so perfect and flawless that he fell in love with his own hand. The muscles of his hand ended up locking into a claw from overuse, thus ending his career ("The Puffy Shirt")
- Superman (frequently)
- Susie, as factual by Peggy, and Mr. Peterman, and also as fictional by . ("The Susie")
- Donald O'Brien, head of the Aryan union. George was caught impersonating O'Brien.
- Bugs Bunny "You know, it is sad, all your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons." - Elaine to Jerry, who has just sung the theme song for The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show ("The Opera")
- Mr. Peanut "So, we meet at last. I admire your skills, Mr. Peanut." - George Costanza, to a lookalike who apparently walks with a cane ("The English Patient")
Seinfeld sayings
A few notable expressions from Seinfeld became popular phrases in everyday speech (Seinfeldisms). Among the most famous:- anti-dentite - someone who discriminates against dentists, which Kramer accuses Jerry of being.
- baldist - someone who discriminates against bald people, George often being the victim.
- "Cantstandya!!!!" - a nickname given to George by his high school gym teacher.
- close talker - a person who doesn't understand the concept of personal space during conversation.
- conjugal visit sex - the second best sex to have, fugitive sex being first and make-up sex being third.
- double-dipper - a person who inserts chip into dip, takes a bite, and unhygenically re-dips the chip, thereby essentially putting the whole mouth into the dip. George's double-dipping causes a scuffle at a funeral.
- Festivus - a December holiday created by Frank Costanza to counteract the commercialism of those other December holidays.
- fugitive sex - the one thing better than conjugal visit sex
- "Get Out!!!" - Elaine's trademark line, usually accompanied by pushing someone backwards on the chest
- "Giddyup!" - Kramer's trademark line, as a saying that "it's all good"
- high talker - a person who speaks in an abnormally high pitch, usually to describe a male who sounds like a female.
- in the vault - an expression to indicate a secret, told in confidence, as in don't worry, "it's in the vault."
- "It's not you, it's me" - George claims he invented this famous break-up line.
- low talker - a person who speaks very softly. This can have very adverse effects especially when Jerry was 'low talked' into wearing a puffy shirt on The Today Show.
- "Hello, Newman" - Jerry's greeting to a certain annoying postal worker.
- "Hello, Vargas" - Kevin's greeting to a certain friendly FedEx worker, who's the same size as Newman. This was intended as a joke, as Kevin and Vargas share a laugh over it.
- "Hipster doofus" - given by Kramer's girlfriend, the word accurately described and defined the character of Kramer for many of the viewers. Often taken as "someone who is intellectual and spirited; knowing the real design of life and not caring at all." Believed to be the roughest prototype of today's metrosexual man.
- "Hoochie Mama!!" - an exclamation used by Kramer, and ultimately Frank Costanza, in place of "Serenity Now" (see below). Kramer also uses it to express surpise or awe throughout the series.
- The Human Fund: Money For People - a fictional charity made up by George in order to save on spending for actual Christmas presents. After having donated people's presents to the Human Fund, his boss, Mr. Kruger, decides that the company should make a significant contribution and thinks the Human Fund is a worthy cause. As a result, George becomes an overnight philantrophist.
- "I was in the pool!!" - George's defense of being seen naked in "The Hamptons" episode. He says it twice, because he was short-changed from some sort of shrinkage.
- make-up sex - the sex when making up after an argument, which is best type other than conjugal visit sex and fugitive sex.
- Manssiere or bro - names proposed by Kramer and Frank Costanza for support garments for male breasts.
- man hands - phrase to describe a woman's hands when they are 'less than feminine.'
- master of my domain - used to describe one's fortitude in refraining from sex (including masturbation).
- queen of the castle - used to describe woman's (Elaine's) fortitude in refraining from masturbation; feminine form of "master of my domain." Elaine was queen of the castle until she saw John F. Kennedy Junior in an exercise class.
- mimbo - a male bimbo.
- Moops - a typo for "Moors" on a Trival Pursuit card; seized upon by George to deny the Bubble Boy the win.
- Mulva - the name Jerry guessed for a woman he was dating whose name he couldn't remember, all he knew was that it rhymed with a part of a woman's anatomy. After she stormed off in a huff because he couldn't remember her name, he realized it was Dolores.
- "Newman!" - as to identify a single individual being responsible for something, or all, that's bad.
- "No soup for you" - an exclamation used in the event where someone changes his or her mind about giving something to someone else. The word "soup" may be replaced with the object at hand; the reference to the show can still be very obvious if the speaker uses the correct tone of voice.
- "Not that there's anything wrong with that" - politically correct standard disclaimer, used to indicate that while one was not homosexual, one did not particularly disapprove of it.
- "pretty big matzoh ball" - the phrase "I love you" when said and unreturned hangs out there like a matzoh ball.
- "Pop in" - the act of visiting without invitation or notification. Jerry claims to dislike the "pop in" but has no choice as George, Elaine, and especially Kramer often "pop in" to his apartment.
- regift/regifter - take a (usually undesirable) present given to you, and give to someone else.
- "Serenity now!" - something that George's father Frank paradoxically yells as a mantra to calm down. Unfortunately, when one uses the "serenity now" method of anger management, the person swallows the anger until it reaches a critical level and he or she explodes. Lloyd Braun claims that this is how he was driven insane: "Serenity now. Insanity later."
- Sexual camel - someone who can go long periods between sex
- Shiksappeal - someone who is appealing, but non-Jewish; a play on Yiddish word shiksa.
- Schmoopie - nauseatingly sweet term of affection used by couples for each other, as in "I love you, Schmoopie!" Jerry uses it with a girlfriend, to George and Elaine's disgust.
- shrinkage - the shrinking of a man's (specifically George Costanza) penis in cold water. "Like a frightened turtle," as Jerry says.
- slip one past the goalie - to impregnate a woman, as phrased by Jerry in response to Kramer's lament that he had never done it.
- soup nazi - a person who would often need to say: "No soup for you!"
- spongeworthy - that a potential sexual partner is particularly attractive; in the original episodes, being "spongeworthy" meant Elaine was willing to use one of her limited supply of (no longer produced) contraceptive sponges with this person.
- Stopping short - the technique of a driver who slams on the brakes in the car, in order to get a cheap feel of the person in the passenger seat. Frank Costanza was the master.
- that'll be ... five ... ten ... minutes - to put off those who are in waiting, such as for a free table in a restaurant, for what overtly appears a moderate duration, but with the effect or even the intention not to eventually end their wait at all.
- "That's a shame" - a line Jerry frequently uses to describe a very bad situation. George sometimes says it, too. Kramer uses the line in an episode where he and Jerry switch apartments and personalities.
- "These pretzels are making me thirsty" - a line Kramer was to say in a Woody Allen movie; all four characters practiced saying the line in different ways. It ended up getting cut from the movie. Later used as a filler phrase when irritated or nervous, and at a loss for words.
- the jimmy leg - a condition that people have when their leg undergoes spasms while sleeping causing his/her significant other to lose sleep. This condition may cause a couple to sleep in different beds; Frank and Estelle Costanza resorted to sleeping in twin beds as a result of her jimmy arm.
- the move - Jerry has a complicated special move he uses during intercourse. It ends with a swirl. George was able to master the move only with crib notes (which got him in trouble)
- the old switcheroo - George mistakenly uses this phrase as applying to when someone has done something to you, you do the same thing to them. Jerry explains that George is thinking of "what is good for the goose is good for the gander." George asks, "What is a gander, anyway?" Jerry answers, "A goose that's had the old switcheroo pulled on it."
- the tap - during sex, to get a tap on the shoulder to cease activities because of subpar performance.
- toe thumbs - one of Jerry's girlfriends had a mysterious "tractor story." George suggested she lost her thumbs in a tractor accident and they grafted her big toes onto her thumbs.
- the twirl - Jerry used to sell umbrellas on the street and claims he invented holding the umbrella open over one's shoulder and twirling it. The twirl must be done at a certain speed, otherwise the twirler will disorient the customer.
- to get upset - used self-reflectingly as in "George is getting upset!", exclaimed by George Louis Costanza himself. Self-reflective speech was initially a defining attribute of Jimmy.
- to just ... write it off!! - to use a phrase without instruction.
- to name name(s) - as expression of the ultimate and irredeemable betrayal of an (until then shared) idea, or good; in referring to the betrayer.
- trifecta - combining sex, watching television, and eating into one activity
- two-face - describes a girl who looks good in one lighting condition, and ugly in another. Also used: "hotsy totsy, hotsy notsy."
- "V!" - as to identify a single individual being responsible for something, or all, that's good.
- "yada yada yada" - used largely like "et cetera, et cetera", although in the original Seinfeld episode it was used to gloss over important details. George had a girlfriend who yada yada'd shoplifting. Elaine described a bad date - she yada yada'd sex, but she did mention the lobster bisque.
- "You are so good looking" - a proposed alternative phrase for when someone sneezes, rather than "God bless you."
- "You can stick your sorries in a sack, mister!" - George's annoying retort to Jerry's untimely "betrayal".
- "You gotta see the baby!" - annoying phrase muttered by new parents to uninterested friends.
- "You tell that son of a bitch that no Yankee is ever coming to Houston, not as long as you bastards are running things!" - George Costanza, in response to the Astros' question about their team playing against the Yankees. Upon hearing this, Wilhelm angrily slams down the phone, and later recommends a hot tub to George.